Adventures of Buttercup McDuck

Tales from a Romance Author's Assistant

Buttercup is back!

Hello dahlins, Buttercup has returned from her vacation with TJon.  I know, dahlins, Buttercup was gone way too long and all of you missed me terribly. 

Dahlin, I was basking on the beach in Maui watching all those buffed, tanned male physiques saunter by.  Most of them just sauntered over to Buttercup’s blanket and before long I was surrounded with twenty to twenty-five of the most gorgeous looking men evah!  Gave Buttercup duck bumps just oogling them.   Especially the ones in those little pouch bikinis – oh my, but they set Buttercup’s little heart all a flutter.

Buttercup was treated to her own night of dancing – Hawaiian style.  Yes, dahlins, Buttercup does a mean Hula.  And Buttercup got layed – oops that’s leied a number of times. 

Oh, it was a wonderful trip until I had to come back to Ms. Rivers’ place.  Where’s the maid?  This place is a mess!

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The Case of the Broken Printer

Hello, dahlins, it’s your Diva Queen, Buttercup here.  I’ve been having a wonderful time.  I made a return trip to Leisure Lake without Ms. Rivers’ knowledge.  TJon and I had a great time frolicking in the lake.  We were in the buff.  My, my, my but that man is a tasty treat!

Ms. Rivers has been keeping me up at all hours of the night.  She has this thing about not sleeping.  Instead she’s up working on her latest novel.  Well, with all the noise going on from her printing pages of manuscript, how’s a duck supposed to get her beauty rest?

Well, I fixed the problem.  I snuck into her office while she was out and it’s amazing what happens when you put a pushpin into the gears!  She just thought it was one from her bulletin board and would never have guessed that innocent little me would do such a thing.  I had to get my rest you know. 

Would you believe someone snitched on Buttercup, dahlins?  I know, it’s hard to believe, isn’t it?  Well, they did.  On Facebook no less.  Someone mentioned the word “quackers” and Ms. Rivers instantly yelled my name. 

I’ve had to be very careful around here.  She’s had her recipe book opened to “Orange Duck” ever since!

Traveling

Hello dahlins, Buttercup here.  I’ve been flitting around a lot this summer.  I’ve been to Evart, Michigan, to the largest dulcimer festival.  Ms. Rivers plays the hammered and the mountain dulcimers, dahlins, much to Buttercup’s annoyment.  But, since Ms. Rivers wanted to go, Buttercup thought it best to go along and keep an eye on her.

Now, Buttercup is packing to head to Alabama and Georgia.  Will this traveling never end!

If you’ve been reading Ms. Rivers’ posts on Facebook, you’re aware that she’s become infatuated with “Cat Poo Coffee” of all things.  No, she doesn’t drink it, she just gets to laughing hysterically over it.  Buttercup gets her calmed down and off she goes again.  She’s supposed to be writing you know.   As a payback, Buttercup followed Ms. Rivers teacup chihuahua around all day with a coffee cup.  I was going to make some coffee for Ms. Rivers until she wised up to what I was doing.  Bummer.  The scene that ensued was not a pretty one.  Oops, here she comes again.  Gotta run!

June 28, 2010 – A sea captain, a six-pack and pleasure trails

Greetings all my lovelies out there in Buttercup World.  That’s right, it’s me, Buttercup, your Diva queen!  I just returned from a week long leisurely writers’ retreat with Maggie Rivers and four other writers (Jordyn Meryl, C. Deanne Rowe, Emma Robuck and Francesca Hawley).  Dahlins, Buttercup had a wonderful time.  She floated on a pontoon boat while my buffed sea captain took me around Leisure Lake.  Oh, what a sight it was – my sea captain, not the lake, dahlins.  He was 6′ 6″ with a six-pack to die for.  And oh, those shoulders!  They were as wide as Paul Bunyan’s ax was long and those biceps were as huge as watermelons.  A tiny waist, tight ass and pleasure trails that gave Buttercup goosebumps.  Ah, it was heaven!  Peaceful, quiet.  Cat tails blowing in the breeze, water lilies in bloom, bullfrogs croaking.   Heavenly.

And then, Ms. Rivers came streaking by.  Someone had given her a margarita, of all the things!  Buttercup cornered her in the gazebo, drug her back into the house, clothed her, sat her down in a chair and told her to write.  Whew!  That was a chore.  Buttercup returned to her six-pack.

Moments later, here comes Ms. Rivers streakin’ by without a stitch except for the lamp shade on her head and the glass of champagne in her hand.  Buttercup pulled her out of the water where she had fallen and once again got her settled back down to write.  Buttercup returned to her tight ass.

Now, Buttercup is beginning to enjoy her leisurely floating.  She hasn’t seen Ms. Rivers for about an hour so Buttercup is beginning to get worried.  Is Ms. Rivers really writing or is she up to something?  Hmmm.  Buttercup must go see.

Buttercup will let you guess what Ms. Rivers was up to this time.  But it wasn’t a pretty sight!

Ms. Rivers heading to Wisconsin

4-12-2010 Hello Dahlins, Buttercup here with the latest info on the travels of Romance Author, Maggie Rivers.  She will be heading to Wisconsin for a conference this weekend.  Of course, I, Buttercup, will be accompanying her.  Someone has to go along to keep her out of trouble.  Buttercup has her suitcase all packed, dahlins, and is all ready for the trip.  Dahlins, it’s hard getting Ms. Rivers ready though.  She does not pack lightly.  She needs business suits, cocktail dresses, and all those types of things.  She’ll need a swimming suit so she can lounge by the pool, too.  Buttercup must take all the same things as Ms. Rivers just can’t function without Buttercup’s help, dahlins.  Why whatever would she do if Buttercup was not there to direct her!  Heaven forbid! 

Once Buttercup has gotten Ms. Rivers all settled in for the night, however, it’s party time!  Buttercup will be shaking her tail feathers all over the dance floor – look out Wisconsin, here comes Buttercup!

Two Rivers Romance Authors presents The Great Iowa Book Event

Hello all Buttercup fans out there in Buttercup fandom land!  Be sure dahlins, to mark you calendards now! 

Two Rivers Romance Authors will be presenting The Great Iowa Book Event, September 11-12, 2010, featuring 42 Iowa authors autographing their latest releases.  In addition, they’ll have a “gently” used book sale (over 1,000 books)  featuring books from many, many genres. 

There’s also a silent auction and a wonderful raffle basket.  One of the prizes in the raffle basket will be a bi-plane ride!  Buttercup intends to win that prize!

 Mark your calendar now for this annual event.  You won’t want to miss an opportunity to see Buttercup dahlins.  I’ll probably have to bring that whip to keep Ms. Rivers in line, too.  Dahlins, do come out and say hi to yours truly!

Times are Sep 11:  10 am – 9 pm; Sep 12: noon – 5 pm in the Bridge Court at Merle Hay Mall, Des Moines, IA.  Hope to see you there!

Ms. Rivers Speaking Engagement

Ah Dahlins, Buttercup here.  Once again I must travel with the renown romance author, Maggie Rivers, to a speaking engagement.  As her loyal assistant (maniacal laugh), I must see that she arrives on time and has everything she needs.  Dahlins, she’ll have everything she needs alright.  I have a sack full of rotten tomatoes in my briefcase!  Anyway, she’ll be speaking April 12, 2010 from 6-7:30 p.m.  Come help me throw some tomatoes!  It’ll be fun.